Kristin Nelson was born Sharon Kristin Harmon on June 25, 1945, in Burbank, California. Her father, Tom Harmon, won the Heisman Trophy in 1940 as a star halfback at the University of Michigan. He was also a decorated military pilot in World War II, surviving two plane crashes behind enemy lines.
Her mother, Elyse Knox, was an actress and model who appeared in films throughout the 1940s. The Harmon family enjoyed elite status in mid-century California, surrounded by famous figures and high expectations.
Kristin’s sister, Kelly Harmon, became an actress and model, known for the iconic Tic Tac commercials. Her brother, Mark Harmon, became one of the most recognizable actors on American television, starring as Leroy Jethro Gibbs on NCIS for 18 seasons.
Kristin attended Marymount High School in Bel Air, an elite Catholic girls’ school. Among her classmates was Mia Farrow, and the two became close friends.
At age 12, Kristin was in the studio audience of a television program where she first met Ricky Nelson. He was 17 at the time. Five years later, on Christmas Day 1961, they began dating. Within a year, they were engaged. Then Kristin became pregnant.
On April 20, 1963, at age 17, Kristin walked down the aisle of St. Martin of Tours Catholic Church in Los Angeles. She married Ricky Nelson, then 22, while pregnant with their first child. Ricky later described the marriage as forced.
Ricky Nelson was born Eric Hilliard Nelson on May 8, 1940, in Teaneck, New Jersey. His parents, Ozzie and Harriet Nelson, launched “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet” as a radio show in 1944, then moved it to television in 1952. The show ran for 14 seasons until 1966.
The program was unprecedented. The Nelson family played fictionalized versions of themselves for nearly two decades, embodying the American dream on screen.
Ricky began recording music in 1957 at age 16. His first single reached number four on the Billboard chart, and his second hit number one. By 17, he was one of the most commercially successful artists in America, competing with Elvis Presley.
His father, Ozzie, managed Ricky’s music career with the same controlling instinct he used on the television show. Ricky was a genuine musical talent, but he was also a manufactured product before he was old enough to make his own choices.
Kristin joined the cast of “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet” immediately after the wedding, appearing in an episode titled “Rick’s Wedding Ring.” She later said, “I spent my whole life fighting this fairy tale. First I tried to be part of it, then I tried to tell the truth.”
The couple had four children over 11 years. Their first child, Tracy Kristine Nelson, was born on October 25, 1963, six months after the wedding. She was born slightly premature, weighing 4 pounds 1 ounce.
Twins Gunnar Eric Nelson and Matthew Gray Nelson were born on September 20, 1967. The fourth child, Sam Hilliard Nelson, was born on August 29, 1974.
The public story of the Nelson marriage was one of television perfection. The private story was very different. Ricky was a touring musician, frequently away from home, surrounded by the rock and roll environment of the 1960s and 1970s. Reports of infidelity were common throughout the marriage.
Kristin managed the household and raised four children largely alone. During those years, she struggled with addiction, particularly to cocaine and alcohol, which would consume the following decades of her life.
By 1975, the marriage was effectively over. When Ricky returned from a tour in 1977, he found Kristin had moved his belongings to a rental house. Kristin filed for divorce in October 1977, then reconciled temporarily. The reconciliation did not last.
In April 1980, the couple purchased a property on Mulholland Drive that once belonged to Errol Flynn for $750,000. It was a lavish purchase for a marriage on the verge of collapse.
In October 1980, Kristin filed for divorce again. This time, she did not withdraw it. The proceedings were destructive. Kristin wanted Ricky to give up music and focus on acting and family life. Ricky had no intention of stopping his tours.
In February 1981, Kristin was granted temporary custody of the four children and monthly spousal support of $3,600. Kristin claimed Ricky was hiding assets. Ricky’s representatives claimed he was nearly bankrupt.
The divorce was finalized on December 27, 1982. Legal and accounting fees exceeded $1 million. Both parties left in worse financial shape than before.
During the divorce battle, Tracy, the eldest daughter, lived with her father at the Mulholland Drive home. The twins moved in with Ricky once they turned 18, about three months before his death. Sam, the youngest, moved between relatives. His aunt Kelly cared for him during the divorce proceedings, then he spent 18 months with his maternal grandparents, before moving in with Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber.
On December 31, 1985, Ricky Nelson, age 45, was flying with his band from Guntersville, Alabama, to Dallas, Texas, for a New Year’s Eve concert. His DC-3 aircraft caught fire in the air over Dallas. The plane crashed near De Kalb, Texas, at approximately 5:45 p.m. All seven people on board died.
The National Transportation Safety Board determined the fire was caused by a faulty heating system. A malfunctioning heater ignited fuel that had leaked into the cabin. Early speculation about drug use was fueled by drug paraphernalia found at the crash site, but the final report identified the heating system failure as the primary cause.
Ricky was engaged to Helen Blair at the time of his death. Kristin was 40 years old when she received the news. She had been divorced from Ricky for three years.
The funeral was tense and painful. Kristin attended, aware that her relationship with the Nelson family was complicated. She contacted David Nelson, Ricky’s brother, about a share of the insurance and assets. David’s priority was the four children. A judge denied Kristin’s request for a share of the estate.
At the funeral itself, an argument between Kristin and her daughter Tracy escalated into a physical fight. Reports describe Kristin throwing Tracy to the ground and using her purse as a weapon.
By 1987, two years after Ricky’s death, Kristin was in rehabilitation for addiction. She was 42 years old. Her brother Mark Harmon and his wife Pam Dawber filed for custody of Sam, then 13 years old, arguing that Kristin was unable to provide adequate parental care due to her addiction.
Sam’s therapist testified on the boy’s behalf, describing how Sam portrayed his mother as a dragon, not in terms of strength but in terms of danger and unpredictability. The 13-year-old described his mother’s mood swings as frightening and complained she prevented him from spending time with his siblings.
Kristin later acknowledged that Mark played a key role in getting her into rehabilitation. She credited him with saving her life. At the same time, she fought the custody case fiercely. She claimed Pam Dawber used cocaine. The claim was serious enough that Mark Harmon dropped the custody case rather than let it proceed.
The court granted Kristin custody of Sam, while Mark Harmon received visitation rights. Kristin, Mark, and Sam agreed to undergo family therapy together as part of the settlement. Kristin was also ordered to stay 200 yards away from Mark and Pam’s home and Pam’s workplace.
In 1988, Kristin married Mark Tinker, a television producer and director. The marriage lasted 12 years, ending in divorce in 2000. Kristin was 55 years old.
After her second divorce, Kristin moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico. The move was significant. Santa Fe was not Los Angeles. It was not the entertainment world she had lived in since age 12.
In Santa Fe, Kristin found her painting. She had been a painter since age 17 and had her first solo exhibition in 1967, in the middle of her marriage to Ricky. In Santa Fe, painting became the center of her life.
Her paintings were exhibited in galleries and collected. One painting, titled “When the Kennedys Were in the White House,” was purchased by Jacqueline Kennedy. It was a real sale in the art market, based on the quality of the work rather than the artist’s family connections.
Kristin also wrote and published a book. She lived a quieter, more authentic life in Santa Fe than she had in Los Angeles from age 17 through her mid-50s.
Her relationship with her brother Mark Harmon remained complicated due to the 1987 custody battle. Her relationship with her eldest daughter Tracy endured through the divorce struggles and the years that followed.
On April 27, 2018, Kristin Nelson died in her home in Santa Fe, New Mexico. She was 72 years old. The cause of death was a heart attack.
Tracy Nelson announced her mother’s death on Facebook on May 1, 2018, four days after it happened. She described it as sudden and unexpected.
By 2018, Kristin was remembered primarily as Ricky Nelson’s ex-wife. Her own artistic work, decades of painting, gallery exhibitions, and the Jacqueline Kennedy purchase, was largely unknown to the public.
The four children each built their own careers. Tracy Nelson became a professional actress and dancer, appearing in numerous films and television shows. She played a recurring role on “Father Dowling Mysteries” from 1989 to 1991.
The twins, Gunnar and Matthew Nelson, formed the band Nelson shortly after their father’s death. Their 1990 debut album “After the Rain” went platinum. The single “(Can’t Live) Without Your Love and Affection” reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100. They became the first artists in history to have a number one song while their father also had a number one song. Ricky reached number one with “Poor Little Fool” in 1958.
Sam Nelson became a singer and songwriter, following the family’s musical tradition. He rarely speaks publicly about his childhood. The events between 1974 and 1988 are not things most people choose to discuss publicly after building independent lives.
Kristin Nelson spent her life fighting a fairy tale. First she tried to be part of it, then she tried to tell the truth. The fairy tale was a television show that ran for 14 seasons. It was a Mulholland Drive property once owned by Errol Flynn. It was a Catholic church in Los Angeles where a 17-year-old girl married a rock star with a baby on the way and the American public watching.
The truth was addiction, divorce, custody battles, a funeral where she fought with her daughter, a judge who denied her claims to the estate, and years of rehabilitation made possible by her brother’s intervention.
The tragedy in her story is real. Four children grew up amid the disruption of her addiction, grief, and family collapse. Sam, who moved between relatives as a young child and described his mother as a dragon to his therapist, did not have the childhood he deserved. Tracy carried a heavy burden from those years. The twins, who moved in with their father three months before his death, absorbed the aftermath of the marriage and its collapse.
But the tragedy is not the whole story. Kristin Nelson was also a painter whose work was collected by Jacqueline Kennedy. She was a woman who, at the end of her life, was making something entirely her own.
She died on April 27, 2018, at age 72. Her daughter announced the news four days later on Facebook. Sudden and unexpected.
She had been fighting the fairy tale since she was 17. She did not win completely, but she never stopped fighting. And in the end, she was doing it on her own terms, in her own home, creating art that expressed who she truly was.